Shit My Parents Say 01

Tonight I came home at 10:00 PM. Right on time like a good kid. Usually, the whole house is lit up like Christmas and my parents are grouching at me about having to get up early. "Why don't you come home earlier!? I have to get up and work! Blah blah blah blah...." But tonight....was different.

The porch light was off, there was an eerie quiet, and zero lights. This was sketchy. I walked up the stairs and I could already hear the dogs barking as usual. I went to open the door.....and it was locked. What the hell!? The door is never locked!

My only thought was, "god, I hope they're not in there whacking!" So I waited for someone to open the door for. No one came. I got out the key and cautiously opened the door. I feared the worst and peeked around. No one. Hm. So, I layed down all my crap, mosied through the house, and found my way to the back door.

When I opened the door, my parents were thankfully just chillin' out in our hot tub. I said, "wow! You have no idea how glad I am that I didn't walk in on you two boning!" My mom just laughed and looked and me and said, "Your dad just gave me the shocker! He showed me what it was!" "WHAT!? What are you doing out here with no lights on???" My dad says, "we had to get our bones in!"

As I am writing this my mother is telling me, " we were not boning in the hot tub! and there was no pinks in the stinks!"

Life Complete? Not quite. This is so average.